It has almost been two months now since my dad past away and I am finally sitting down to write. It has not been easy but it is getting there. Today has been one of those not so good days. Started out ok but just seems to have become mushy. I am sure it will turn around and I will feel myself again. Just missing him terribly. I just do not have time for this today....oh well, I guess the "wave" of grief does not discriminate.
You might be asking what is a "new" normal? That is exactly what my life is right now. After years of taking care of my dad and having a date book full of appointments, I must now find away to fill that book with stuff for me. I am doing just that. Started a new business venture, trying to reconnect with old friends, trying to make new friends. At times it is very fun and excited .....other times it gets a bit overwhelming. I am stepping out of my old comfort zone and making new strides in my life. My dad would be proud.
So, here I go..................
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
It happened....I have fallen of the wagon, the weight wagon !!!
I have to say that losing weight is so overrated. It is not easy and it does not happen over night. Whether you need to lose 10 lbs or 20lbs it is just a struggle. I have to say it is the hardest thing that I have been trying to do my whole life. Well, at least the last ten years.
I was not always a big girl, not skinny but not what is now consider Obese. I remember the first time the doctor said that word to me I almost died. I was "wait a minute that is not me you are talking about". The sad fact was that I had gained so much wait to be put in that category. It really does not take much since my ideal weight for my height is 105 to 132...whatever. So here I am trying to find ways of getting rid of this excess body weight and it is not cooperating. I have tried many things but I either loss motivation or it is just not the right fit. I could not understand why and then it hit me....I am an emotional/stress eater who likes to binge. That was a mouthful and should make you full just reading it....lol Anyway, let me set you straight that when I say binge I do not do the other thing....purge. I just binge and it is usually when I am having a bad day or I am just bored. So, with that being said anyone know of a program that fits me???
A cool thing is happening that I think may be just what I need.....a support group on Facebook. Maybe with support and having to be accountable to my peers I may be more successful. I am also going to get back on track with eating "clean". The difference I felt when I took out gluten and dairy was amazing.....time to throw out the pint of ice cream in the freezer ( sorry hubby). I am sure in 2 months time I will be back to feeling better and have a more positive report. I just had to confess I had started down the wrong path again but hey this is the first step to making things right again.
So, if any of my readers have weight loss success stories to share I am needing lots of inspiration and support. Thank you and till next time......
I was not always a big girl, not skinny but not what is now consider Obese. I remember the first time the doctor said that word to me I almost died. I was "wait a minute that is not me you are talking about". The sad fact was that I had gained so much wait to be put in that category. It really does not take much since my ideal weight for my height is 105 to 132...whatever. So here I am trying to find ways of getting rid of this excess body weight and it is not cooperating. I have tried many things but I either loss motivation or it is just not the right fit. I could not understand why and then it hit me....I am an emotional/stress eater who likes to binge. That was a mouthful and should make you full just reading it....lol Anyway, let me set you straight that when I say binge I do not do the other thing....purge. I just binge and it is usually when I am having a bad day or I am just bored. So, with that being said anyone know of a program that fits me???
A cool thing is happening that I think may be just what I need.....a support group on Facebook. Maybe with support and having to be accountable to my peers I may be more successful. I am also going to get back on track with eating "clean". The difference I felt when I took out gluten and dairy was amazing.....time to throw out the pint of ice cream in the freezer ( sorry hubby). I am sure in 2 months time I will be back to feeling better and have a more positive report. I just had to confess I had started down the wrong path again but hey this is the first step to making things right again.
So, if any of my readers have weight loss success stories to share I am needing lots of inspiration and support. Thank you and till next time......
Saturday, June 18, 2011
20 years already......how did that happen??
A week from today is my 20 year high school reunion. How did this happen? Where did the time go? It seems like yesterday that we all were just graduating and excited about what our future would hold for us. I will not be attending all of the festivities but I will stop in one night to see some of my classmates. I think I am still in shock by the fact that is has been 20 years already.
When I look back on the last twenty years since High school some of it is just a blur and the rest is just amazing. The places I have been, the people I have met and the opportunities that I have gotten to experience are so life changing. I would not change any of it.....not even the bad stuff and let me tell you there was some really bad stuff during those twenty years. All of those experiences have made me who I am today. I hope we all appreciate what life has given us. I believe it is so important to never have regrets. I know I don't have any regrets.
My life may not be what I imagined it to be when I was seventeen years old but it is such a beautiful place. I love my life and I would not ask for anything more. As for the rest of my classmates, I hope that you too are in a place in your life that brings you happiness.
Well, I will miss seeing all my classmates but I have a very important person to see that weekend.....my nephew who will be turning one. That is a milestone that I can not miss for anything sorry gang but family comes first. To my classmates, have a wonderful time and I will be with you in spirit!
When I look back on the last twenty years since High school some of it is just a blur and the rest is just amazing. The places I have been, the people I have met and the opportunities that I have gotten to experience are so life changing. I would not change any of it.....not even the bad stuff and let me tell you there was some really bad stuff during those twenty years. All of those experiences have made me who I am today. I hope we all appreciate what life has given us. I believe it is so important to never have regrets. I know I don't have any regrets.
My life may not be what I imagined it to be when I was seventeen years old but it is such a beautiful place. I love my life and I would not ask for anything more. As for the rest of my classmates, I hope that you too are in a place in your life that brings you happiness.
Well, I will miss seeing all my classmates but I have a very important person to see that weekend.....my nephew who will be turning one. That is a milestone that I can not miss for anything sorry gang but family comes first. To my classmates, have a wonderful time and I will be with you in spirit!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
What an amazing ride
The last four weeks I have been attending this lifestyles change program called True U. It has taught me a new way of looking at food and what type of food I put in my body. When I first started the program my goal was to lose all of this weight. In fact that has always been my goal in all the the programs I have started and stopped. Something changed for me along the way. My goal changed. It became more about how I was feeling instead of what the world was perceiving. It stopped being about the pounds coming off. It started being about the energy I was gaining and how I was feeling overall. I know that I need to lose the weight but now I know that in time and with patience it will come off. This is a marathon I am running not a sprint.
I have made many great changes in the past few weeks that I am so happy about. I am eating more fruits and veggies, I am drinking more water and I am taking multivitamins I still have a long way to go but old habits are really hard to break and in time I will have each one of my bad one changed to a good one. One really bad habit I need to work on is emotional eating. I notice when I am bored or when I am having a "moment" I turn to food for comfort. I need to turn to something more positive and more beneficial for me. I believe now that I have seen that trigger I can now work on it. Another thing I really need to work on is EXERCISE. I am awful with getting enough of it. Walking to the mailbox maybe good but I know it is not enough. . There are plans in the making. So being aware is the first step to fixing the problem. That is how I conquered my addiction to alcohol. If I can do that I can do anything.
Well, It has been a wonderful journey and I am sad to see the class end. I do plan to stop in from time to time on the next group. I need the support and the hugs are always a plus. So, till next time......
PS. I still do not like the scale.....maybe one day it will be my friend!!!
I have made many great changes in the past few weeks that I am so happy about. I am eating more fruits and veggies, I am drinking more water and I am taking multivitamins I still have a long way to go but old habits are really hard to break and in time I will have each one of my bad one changed to a good one. One really bad habit I need to work on is emotional eating. I notice when I am bored or when I am having a "moment" I turn to food for comfort. I need to turn to something more positive and more beneficial for me. I believe now that I have seen that trigger I can now work on it. Another thing I really need to work on is EXERCISE. I am awful with getting enough of it. Walking to the mailbox maybe good but I know it is not enough. . There are plans in the making. So being aware is the first step to fixing the problem. That is how I conquered my addiction to alcohol. If I can do that I can do anything.
Well, It has been a wonderful journey and I am sad to see the class end. I do plan to stop in from time to time on the next group. I need the support and the hugs are always a plus. So, till next time......
PS. I still do not like the scale.....maybe one day it will be my friend!!!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Hello......can I come in and talk?
Time flies when your busy or is it having fun!!! It could be both I suppose. For me it has been a bit of this and that. Life just gets in the way and then WOW another year goes by. I can not believe that in just a few weeks I will have been married for one whole year. Yes....it has been a year already. It has been an incredible year and I am excited to see what the future years hold for Joe and I. Love you Joseph and thanks for picking me to be the one to spend the rest of your life with.
So, what has been going on in my world for the past month or so, you ask? Well, I have had some personal changes going on. Some emotional, mental, physical and I guess I could also say spiritual. All good and at times a bit challenging. I enjoy a challenge. I believe it builds character and gives us a chance to grow. I have done some growing in the past few months. The easiest way to explain this is to break it down in sections so here it goes....
Emotionally life has really been great and I have not had much to change. I have had a few bumps in the road that a change in hormones fixed. I also feel like I have opened up more to my family about my feelings. Just a week ago I wrote a letter to two of my siblings just venting how they were making me feel. The feedback was great and it gave me a sense of letting go. I really do not like keeping stuff bottled up because it just makes a person sick and evil. It felt cleansing and refreshing. I just need to make sure that I practice what I preach and voice how I feel when others make me angry or sad.
My mental and physical health go hand in hand. I started this program called True U. In the past few weeks I have started changing the way I eat and how I look at food. I have been more aware of the products I put on my skin. In saying that I believe that the changes that I have felt both physically and mentally are from making better and healthier choices. My focus is not necessarily how much weight I can lose on this new lifestyle but how healthier I can feel. Once my body is feeling healthier then the weight will just start falling off. I know how much weight I need to lose but it just is not going to happen until I change my relationship with food. Each day I am making small changes and each day I am feeling better. I am working on not depending on the scale for answers but on how I feel. I will get to that goal weight but until then I am working on getting to my....True Me!! P.s I will keep you posted on my progress<3
Now for my spiritual side, there has been a change that has been happening for months but in the past few weeks I have really noticed it. I do not know if it has to do with the hurdles( I am not just talking about personal ones...my friends have had some big ones too) that have happened in the past six months or if something just has happened. To be honest it is a beautiful feeling. Growing up I was brought up in the church and had a strong faith but in the past 20 years my faith has been tested to the breaking point. There was a time that I just did not even think that something so good could let this much hurt happen to one person. My faith and spirit was broken. In the past six years the spark has been re lite. Each day something happens that rebuilds it and makes my spirit stronger. At this moment it is stronger than it has ever been. Joe and I have talked about going to church and even finding a "home" church. That is so exciting to me. I find myself turning the radio to K-love so that I can listen to some uplifting music to get me through the day. What a change....a good change.
As you see, it has been a really busy few months and I am sure life will have more surprises for me around the corner. All good of course!!!! It has been a very enlightening time of my life and I am so glad for each day. I know there was a time in my life that I just did not want to wake up and continue but there was some one looking out for me. With each new adventure and challenge I am learning how grateful I am for all I have. I may not have a big house or a new car but I have a loving husband, friends who love me and a family who means the world to me. That is enough for me.
So, what has been going on in my world for the past month or so, you ask? Well, I have had some personal changes going on. Some emotional, mental, physical and I guess I could also say spiritual. All good and at times a bit challenging. I enjoy a challenge. I believe it builds character and gives us a chance to grow. I have done some growing in the past few months. The easiest way to explain this is to break it down in sections so here it goes....
Emotionally life has really been great and I have not had much to change. I have had a few bumps in the road that a change in hormones fixed. I also feel like I have opened up more to my family about my feelings. Just a week ago I wrote a letter to two of my siblings just venting how they were making me feel. The feedback was great and it gave me a sense of letting go. I really do not like keeping stuff bottled up because it just makes a person sick and evil. It felt cleansing and refreshing. I just need to make sure that I practice what I preach and voice how I feel when others make me angry or sad.
My mental and physical health go hand in hand. I started this program called True U. In the past few weeks I have started changing the way I eat and how I look at food. I have been more aware of the products I put on my skin. In saying that I believe that the changes that I have felt both physically and mentally are from making better and healthier choices. My focus is not necessarily how much weight I can lose on this new lifestyle but how healthier I can feel. Once my body is feeling healthier then the weight will just start falling off. I know how much weight I need to lose but it just is not going to happen until I change my relationship with food. Each day I am making small changes and each day I am feeling better. I am working on not depending on the scale for answers but on how I feel. I will get to that goal weight but until then I am working on getting to my....True Me!! P.s I will keep you posted on my progress<3
Now for my spiritual side, there has been a change that has been happening for months but in the past few weeks I have really noticed it. I do not know if it has to do with the hurdles( I am not just talking about personal ones...my friends have had some big ones too) that have happened in the past six months or if something just has happened. To be honest it is a beautiful feeling. Growing up I was brought up in the church and had a strong faith but in the past 20 years my faith has been tested to the breaking point. There was a time that I just did not even think that something so good could let this much hurt happen to one person. My faith and spirit was broken. In the past six years the spark has been re lite. Each day something happens that rebuilds it and makes my spirit stronger. At this moment it is stronger than it has ever been. Joe and I have talked about going to church and even finding a "home" church. That is so exciting to me. I find myself turning the radio to K-love so that I can listen to some uplifting music to get me through the day. What a change....a good change.
As you see, it has been a really busy few months and I am sure life will have more surprises for me around the corner. All good of course!!!! It has been a very enlightening time of my life and I am so glad for each day. I know there was a time in my life that I just did not want to wake up and continue but there was some one looking out for me. With each new adventure and challenge I am learning how grateful I am for all I have. I may not have a big house or a new car but I have a loving husband, friends who love me and a family who means the world to me. That is enough for me.
Until next time........enjoy and embrace life
Friday, March 25, 2011
The weather outside is frightful......it is suppose to be spring???
So they say that march "comes in like a lion and out like a lamb"......not for Paradise. It is almost the end of march and mother nature is still on a war path. I am so ready for some good weather. I think this type of weather causes people and animals to go crazy. I know I am getting a bit stir crazy.
As I am sitting here the wind is howling. It has been doing this for the past two days. Trees are down all over town. People are driving like they have never been on the road before. Yesterday it was raining so hard and the wind was blowing that I felt like I was on the movie set of " Wizard of OZ". I swear we might need to start building a ARK....OK, maybe just a storm shelter. I know I can be a bit dramatic.
Well, even with all this crazy weather at least I have a roof over my head. With all that has happened in the world I have to say that I am so grateful for my life. My heart goes out to all those who are suffering in Japan. Please do not forget those here at home who do not have a safe place to be protected from mother natures temper tantrums. Always be grateful for what you have and share your blessings with those less fortunate.
As I am sitting here the wind is howling. It has been doing this for the past two days. Trees are down all over town. People are driving like they have never been on the road before. Yesterday it was raining so hard and the wind was blowing that I felt like I was on the movie set of " Wizard of OZ". I swear we might need to start building a ARK....OK, maybe just a storm shelter. I know I can be a bit dramatic.
Well, even with all this crazy weather at least I have a roof over my head. With all that has happened in the world I have to say that I am so grateful for my life. My heart goes out to all those who are suffering in Japan. Please do not forget those here at home who do not have a safe place to be protected from mother natures temper tantrums. Always be grateful for what you have and share your blessings with those less fortunate.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Rough Week
I have alot on my mind lately that it is really hard to be still. The thoughts just swirl around like a Ferris wheel at an amusement park. It has been eight days since I heard the news that my dear friends mom had a brain tumor. You never want to hear those words for anyone you love. God, you never want anyone to hear those words. Tomorrow will be a week that Amy's mom went in for surgery and we found out that it was the "C" word. I HATE that word. I am sure you all know what I am talking about so I do not have to spell it out. Sorry that I am using such a harsh word as HATE but it is appropriate. When I found out that it was "C" word and that it was already stage 4 my heart just ached. I felt so helpless and so angry that I could not make things better for my friend. So many emotions came over me that I just was numb. I have to be strong I just kept telling myself, I have to be strong for Amy. Yesterday was the first day I saw her since I got the news. Yesterday is the first time we spoke. We have been keeping in touch only by texts and messaging so that we could not hear the sadness and fear in our voices. It was so good to see her and to see her mom. It was so good to talk with her. It is funny, she said to me" I am not hugging you because I will cry". It was so hard not to just hug her and tell her how much I love her and that I am here for her. I am sure she already knew that so it was OK.
It has been the real rough week for me but I have kept it to myself. I have been the one to say it is going to be OK and that her mom will fight this battle and win. She will win this battle because she has already come so far and is no willing to let this "C" beat her. I know and she knows it. Amy's mom is a strong women and nothing will get in her way.
It has been a real rough week for me but I have kept it to myself. I have been the one to send the prayers and virtual hugs. I have sent the words of hope and encouragement. I just need to remind myself that these things happen and there are no reasons for it. Good people get sick. Nobody can tell me why not even God.
It has been a real rough week for me but I have kept it to myself. I really am OK. I know that Lorene will be OK. Amy will be OK and her family will be OK.
In times like these I count my blessings and I am grateful for what the world has blessed me with.
Are you??
Rough Week
It has been the real rough week for me but I have kept it to myself. I have been the one to say it is going to be OK and that her mom will fight this battle and win. She will win this battle because she has already come so far and is no willing to let this "C" beat her. I know and she knows it. Amy's mom is a strong women and nothing will get in her way.
It has been a real rough week for me but I have kept it to myself. I have been the one to send the prayers and virtual hugs. I have sent the words of hope and encouragement. I just need to remind myself that these things happen and there are no reasons for it. Good people get sick. Nobody can tell me why not even God.
It has been a real rough week for me but I have kept it to myself. I really am OK. I know that Lorene will be OK. Amy will be OK and her family will be OK.
In times like these I count my blessings and I am grateful for what the world has blessed me with.
Are you??
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Love is in the air
February has arrived!!! That means it is time for us to shower those we love with flowers, candy and cards. It is funny to think just about six years ago I hated this time of year. I mean I would dread having to go into a store because I knew that I would be submerged into the red and pink decor. It would reminded how I was not going to be celebrating in the love fest. How things have changed. I can say that I am officially a fan of Valentines day. It took many years but six years ago I met the man who would change my heart forever. This year will be our first Valentines day as a married couple and I could not ask for anything better than that. I would like to share with you how my heart has changed. This is for Joseph....I love you!!
What is love??
Love is when my heart skips a beat each time he enters the room
Love is the laughter
Love is knowing that I can trust him with all your secrets
Love is the tears we share when life has given more than we think we can handle
Love is hugs and kisses
Love is knowing he will always be there
Love is saying " I love you" as I fall asleep
Love is holding hands
Love is the feeling I get each time he calls from work to say he misses me
Love is the gentle way he holds me in his arms
Love is what we have together forever and always
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